how to get out your philosophical steamroller
one problem with the """looksmaxxing""" community (i'm using triple quotes here to indicate that i think the term is stupid and brainwormish but alas we communicate with what we have) is they are trying to find the look.
the way to be attractive to women.
i think you can probably guess what i'm going to say here. it's pretty obvious stuff to anyone who hasn't let their brain leak out their ears. but there is not one way to be attractive. because women aren't a monolith.
i have throughout my life (in alternating almost wavelike periods) had lots of success with women and very very very little success with women. it's puzzling!
but actually it's really not. because i wasn't having success (whatever that means though i think you know what it means) with women. i was have success or more often a lack thereof with a woman. and i gotta lay it out for ya plain here fellas--they're all different.
because they're people right? and people are all different. yeah we try to put them in buckets and myersbriggs and enneagram the shit out of yourself and them and build archetypes and twist everyone into knots and eventually yung ourselves off a cliff trying to keep it all in the air... but people are different.
there's variety. it's hard to think in variety. but there's variety.
i reject soulmate theory because it's stupid and there's not just one person for every other person. but there's also not one person that will appeal to every other person. you can't engineer yourself into the perfect specimen.
doing so is antithetical to everything we know about everything. it's the sort of thing that falls apart the moment you start thinking about it even just a little. that so many people can believe that there is a certain monomale who appeals to the polyfemale (pardon my use of male/female--i pinky promise that i'm not that kind of weirdo) is a testament to out of whack our noosphere has become and how unaligned with reality it is.
all these dudes out here living in a fantasy. dwarves at a feast who think they're in a stable. sad. you don't have to do any of that. you don't have to """maxx""" anything. there are things you can do to be generally more attractive but i assure you that for men the bar is in hell. smell nice. be respectful. treat people like people. learn the barest bit about consent. get a hobby that isn't bashing your face in with a hammer. get out there a little. use your network.
and above all remember: there is variety. everywhere. you might not be for everyone but you're for someone. probably. no guarantees though!
there's a mystery to what makes you click with some people. though it maybe gets pretty obvious in hindsight. but still. a mystery. and maybe that's pretty rough when you're going through it but you beat the mystery into whatever shape you want it to be without doing some serious violence to whatever comes out the other side.